I never know how to really write that title. Is it Pastor’s Wife – singular? Is it Pastor’s Wives – indicating a pastor has more than one wife? Is it Pastors’ Wives? Oh, well, I think you understand anyway. Somewhere, someone has deemed March as the month to honor your Pastor’s wife. I want to be careful in writing this because I am the wife of the pastor. I am in no way writing this to rebuke the ladies at our church. Quite the contrary. I’d like to use their example to encourage you to do the same.
First, a few things about pastors’ wives. She is a church member, just like you. She was not born with superhero powers. Her parents did not send her to earth in an egg shaped capsule. She cannot read your mind. (Whew!) She probably did not major in Pastor Wife in college. While my husband was still in Bible college, we served in a church in Springfield, Missouri. A young woman often asked Mrs. Cobb, who was the pastor’s wife, if she would teach a class at the church on how to be a pastor’s wife. After turning down this request numerous times, Mrs. Cobb held up a toilet brush and said, “Do you know what this is? Do you know how to use one? Good. You, too, can be a pastor’s wife.” A pastor’s wife is a woman who is serving the Lord, same as you. The only difference is, she is married to the Pastor.
Depending on the size of your church, your pastor’s wife may wear many hats. In smaller churches I’ve found she wears quite a few. I’ve been pianist, nursery worker, nursery coordinator, fellowship planner, Sunday School teacher, jr church worker, custodian and so on. I’m not complaining. Most of the time I enjoy it. (Let’s face it, every one gets tired now and then.) But remember, your pastor’s wife may have children of her own, she may work outside the home, she may home school. She has all the responsibilities you have at home, and she still finds time to serve. Most importantly, she does it to serve the Lord. Her goal is to please Him in all she says and does. I Corinthians 10:31 states “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do ALL to the glory of God.” (emphasis mine) This should be every Christian woman’s desire. Secondly, she does it to be a helper to her husband. Proverbs 31 tells us that the woman in this chapter behaved herself in such a way that “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,” (Proverbs 31:11a) I want my husband to trust me. I don’t want to be known as what the Bible calls Silly Women. I want to help and not hinder the ministry. Finally, she does it to be an example to her children. I want my children to know serving the Lord is required of the Lord. I Corinthians 4:2 tells us, “Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.” Notice the word required. Faithfulness is not suggested, it is required. I want to model that for my children. Oh, I’ll fail, but I have to keep trying. And I want them to ENJOY it. Ministry is an exciting thing. We have a good time. There is an old song that says, “There is joy in serving Jesus.” You can have that joy, too. It’s not just for staff.
So now to the ladies I serve with. Last year, some ladies saw that March was Pastor’s Wife Appreciation month, so they decided to join in. They’ve always recognized my birthday, which is also in March, but now they add to it. I’ve received certificates for manicures and pedicures, certificates to have my hair done, and a massage. They have given me money for hats (Kentucky Derby style to wear on Sunday mornings) and purses. This year has been my favorite so far. The ladies all took a different day in the month of March to bring me and my family dinner. So for over half of the month I have dinner taken care of. These dates are spread out so we can enjoy leftovers. This is my favorite because each lady is giving of herself in some way. It may be a home cooked meal. It may be a certificate to my favorite restaurant. I’m only a couple of meals into this and we have enjoyed it so much. Even this past Sunday morning, one lady brought me a chocolate pie. It was still warm. yummmmmmmm… Only problem is I had to wait until after church to eat it. (Next time I won’t. I think I’ll start carrying a fork in my purse for occasions such as these.) I serve alongside some wonderful ladies, and not just because they bring me pie. They are a blessing to my heart and I count it a privilege to work with them.
I’d like to encourage you, if you appreciate your pastor’s wife (and you should), take a minute this month to let her know. It doesn’t have to be dinner. It could be a sweet note mailed to her home, it could be a drink at her favorite coffee shop, it could be a gift certificate to her favorite store, or it could just be a big hug while you tell her how much you love her. My next post will be how to honor your pastor’s wife all year (and it won’t cost a dime!)