women stuff

Submission: You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

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Submission. That dreaded word. Many women hate it. Most men love it. It’s even implied in my website name.  Most of you have read how this blog got its name. Being under someone’s thumb is NOT submission. But what is it? Really?

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines submit as “to yield, resign, or surrender to the power, will or authority of another;” also “to acquiesce in the authority of another; to be submissive, to yield without murmuring.” (Ouch)  God commands that we wives submit to the authority of our husbands (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18).  It’s not a suggestion. It is a command. But notice it is not a command to submit to all men in general. In both verses you are commanded to submit to your own husbands.

Let’s take a look in I Peter 3:7. Here the Bible is talking to husbands about their responsibilities to their wives. It uses the phrase “as unto the weaker vessel” referring to the wife. Some people love to take this out of context. “See? Women are to submit because they are weak.” Ahhhh, not so, my friend. Here is where my love of  English grammar and my Classical Conversations Essentials nerdship kicks in. Weaker is a comparative adjective. In order for a vessel to be weaker, there must be another vessel, a vessel that is weak. You can’t look at a single cow in a field and say “that is a fatter cow!” Fatter than what? There is nothing to which to compare it. “I am older than she is” actually means “I am older than she is old.” “He is taller than she” actually means “He is taller than she is tall.” “My husband is crazier than I am crazy.”  It doesn’t say “as unto the weak vessel.” That would be a totally different meaning. So for the Bible to say “weaker” it must be deduced that the first vessel (the husband) is weak, the woman is simply weaker.

I like submitting to my husband. Is there a decision that needs to be made? My husband and I discuss it, I give my input, and he makes the decision. What if he makes the wrong decision?!? He may make a decision I completely disagree with. God doesn’t hold me accountable for that. God holds me accountable for submitting: to yield without murmuring. I think women have the easier job here. I leave the decisions up to him (after we discuss things, of course) and God doesn’t hold me accountable if he messes everything up. Do I always agree with his decisions? Nope. But I don’t answer for him. I answer for me.

IMG_2364 (1)Submission is NOT my husband lording over me. We discuss things, we bounce ideas off each other, he asks my input, but then he ultimately makes the decision. (Unless it’s “where do you want to eat?” or “what do you want to watch?”) Submission is NOT me cowering to his every command. (“Woman, go make me a sammich!”) Submission is NOT me losing my identity and becoming a spineless wimp. Submission is not weakness. Do you know how much strength it takes for an independent woman to submit to her husband’s authority? Let me answer that for you. It takes a lot of strength. When a wife looks at her marriage from a right spiritual, biblical viewpoint, there will be submission.

One of my former students once wrote a song about submission. I don’t remember the verse with the melody, but the chorus begins with Jerry Lee Lewis style cluster cords and a voice that is loud and angry, “Submission is a dirty word!” It makes me laugh every time I think of it. She is now married, and if I know her like I think I do, she is happily submitting to her husband and enjoying the life God gave her. But her husband cares for her and respects her. (If he doesn’t, Elizabeth, let me know. He’ll receive a visit from my cousin, Guido.)

So, ladies, don’t be afraid of that silly word submit. There is security in that word. And I believe the more I submit, the more my husband trusts in me. The more he trusts in me, the more he shows it. The more he shows it and appreciates me, the more I submit. See how that works? It’s a wonderful life God has given me. So, go. Submit, woman!!

Seek and Ye Shall Find

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There are lots of stories floating around on the internet. Lots of inspirational, feel good stories. Ladies, we need to have discernment as we read these stories or so called devotionals. (Truthfully, we need discernment in everything we read.) They may give you a warm, fuzzy feeling, but that does not mean the point is biblical. I teach a sophomore level class of homeschoolers. I constantly try to tell them to always read through the filter of God’s Word. Is what you are reading, and agreeing with, aligned with Scripture?

In the Old Testament, it is true that many men found themselves communing with God up in the mountain. They would come apart and seek Him and spend one on one time with Him. They wanted to hear from Him. Speak to Him. He wanted to speak with them. But that was the Old Testament. And those were real mountains they climbed.

I have read lately that God will come to the woman in her busyness. It has been proposed that the women don’t have to climb mountains to seek the Lord. It has been inferred that God knows how busy the woman is and He will come to where she is. That sounds great, right? And it is true God is everywhere. He is omnipresent. But we need to be careful in assuming we don’t have to stop our activities to develop a relationship with Him.

Let’s look at Hannah from the Old Testament. (I Samuel 1) Hannah desired a child. In verse 10, the Bible says “And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore.” Where was Hannah during this time? Doing laundry? Washing dishes? Nope. She was in the house of the Lord. Hannah went to where God would be. Hannah sought the Lord. Hannah poured out her heart before him. (She was so intense in her prayer that Eli the priest thought she might be drunk.) But what I want you to see is that Hannah climbed her own mountain. She set time aside and met with God.

How about another example? In Luke 10, Mary and Martha were hosting Jesus. While Martha was “cumbered about much serving” (she was preparing the meal, washing dishes, serving the guests), Mary “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.” Martha complained to Jesus how she was so busy and doing the work alone. Jesus didn’t go to her. On the contrary. He told Martha that “Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Jesus was telling Martha that coming apart and spending time at His feet is important. Ceasing from your busyness to hear from the Lord is that good part. And it is necessary.

There was a woman in the New Testament who “had an issue of blood twelve years” (Mark 5:25). She had been to numerous doctors, spent all she had, and still had no answers. She heard Jesus was in town and His reputation proceeded Him. She says, in verse 28, “If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.” She fought the crowd and pressed in to touch the hem of His garment. She sought Him. She looked for Him. And she was healed.

There are more examples. The Marys who went to the tomb with spices. (Yes, they were doing their duty, but they went to Him.) Mary who anointed Jesus’ feet with oil (again while Martha served) as well as others.

The Bible is clear. We are to seek the Lord. We are to spend time with Him. God’s Word is full of verses that teach us to seek after him. (This is not an exhaustive list.)

  • I Chronicles 16:11 “Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.”
  • Psalm 63:1 “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;”
  • Psalm 105:4 “Seek the Lord, and his strength: seek his face evermore.”
  • Psalm 119:2 “Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.”
  • Proverbs 8:17 “I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.”
  • Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
  • Matthew 6:6 “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to the Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”
  • James 4:8a “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”

I get it. I’m busy, too. I have 3 children. I homeschool. My husband is a pastor. I am involved in our wonderful community. But first and foremost, I am a Christian woman and I need to develop my relationship with God above all other relationships. What we get out of a relationship depends on what we put into it. I must MAKE time to be in the Word. For me, personally, it’s getting up before the rest of my family. Sometimes the girls get up early and they’ll ask “are you reading your Bible?” They know that until I am finished they need to busy themselves with other things.

94144045_10163489692815258_636216941530316800_oWednesday, a sweet, young momma posted on Facebook. She just had baby #3 a week ago. Her post stated that the 2 older boys were with grandparents and sweet baby girl was napping. She was excited about “savoring some much needed time in the Word… Thankful for quiet moments like this to refresh my soul.” (In my conversation with her about including this, she said she was apprehensive about posting this on facebook, but she is encouraged when she sees “a fellow mom in the trenches posting good things like that. It’s a good reminder to keep at it and not let the busy years of child raising be an excuse to let my relationship with Him slide.”) That’s it!! Making time to spend with Jesus!! Do you notice we find time for other things? Things like TV. Reading books. Trolling facebook. Some mommas are constantly watching and entertaining their kids. (FYI, it’s ok for your kids to entertain themselves. It’s ok for your kids to be bored.)

So, ladies. Read with discernment. Don’t be fooled by warm fuzzies. Climb that proverbial mountain and seek time alone with God. He is waiting.